Scripted Smiles

You know that lump in your throat when you feel something pulling deep down in your heartstrings? That's an understatement when you look at the "reviews" count of your story and realize that you just hit 1,000. Nothing compares to the feeling of reading 47 reviews the day after you update, frantically typing word after word and racing against the 12:00 mark that you decided to keep as a reference point. That feeling of accomplishment, that feeling of knowing that there are actual people on the other side of the screen waiting for you to make a difference... that's a feeling that can't really be labled.

There's nothing to say about it besides the overwhelming nature that encompases it. I've never felt my heart sink in such a way until I updated Ch 38. Now, I have everyone asking me to update 39, and then 40, and before you know it I'll have 50 chapters and he'll still be alive.

That's the worst part of all. His liveliness. I don't know what ti di with it. Should I keep him alive and kickin'? Or should I do what I had originally planned?

Many people think we do what we do in order to please the public, but really, it can't be that way. You write to please yourself and feel that amazing tinglging in your fingertips, and the drawstrings of your mind sway a little, too. That's why you do it in the first place. And when someone complains, you don't go back and change it all... you move forward and emphasize it even more.

This is your story. This is your life.

And because it's your life, you can't rip anyone away from it, because it would tear you apart.

That's how I feel.