Well, I know I've not made a new discovery, but, life changes. Things are always in constant motion and everything that happens has a consequence and a reason behind it. Just sitting here while procrastinating my summer reading work, I had a burst of curiosity and decided that I wanted to see a friend's Facebook which I hadn't visited in about a year or even more.
For reasons of an unidentifiable nature, that person has been cold and distant with me, and I've been likewise to them. Anyhow, I decided to look at their pictures and noticed an album with some pictures posted there with me and some people I used to know and hang out with. Unbelievably (not just for you, but it surprised to me too) I shed a tear. I never thought that the changes life has made in my turf have been so drastic. Just looking at a simple photograph brought me back to a rather happy time in my life.
Then, almost immediately, the phrase came to me: Pictures never change, but unfortunately, the people in them do. That's when I started to think about all the things that have changed and the things that have been added and taken away from my life. I realized that everything is a blessing and even if we might not see the plus side, or the bright side, God has it all planned out to work just fine. The amazing thing is the change. The thing I can't get over. I am still quite dumbfounded with some people in my life; the way they have transformed their personality to fit into the mold of every other socialite. The ambition that has eaten their soul, and the vanity that has consumed them is almost unrealistic.
OK, so, it sounds like I'm judging them. Well, I'm none to judge (I'm guilty as charged) but I can't help but notice the difference in personality and lifestyle. I just can't stand this hypocrisy. Burn down the wall, rip off the mask, and tear away the façade. There's no need to lie about who you are, when all I've done is be real. But I know not everybody thinks the same way. And you can't make someone agree with or think like you.
Moreover, I think of a phrase from an Avril Lavigne song: All the pain I thought I knew, all the thoughts lead back to you… Most of the memories that hurt the most are those with that person whose Facebook I looked at, and those who are in the picture with us. I know the secret solution to nostalgia and aches and pains of the heart is just to push that which creates the feelings, but, like most things in life, it's easier said than done. Of course, I've mastered the art of ignorance but once I let the thoughts and memories creep in, the feeling just rises.
But, enough about myself. Let's talk about you. You might stumble upon my blog, but I know you never read anything I post, so I might as well stop right now. But just in case you do read it, I just want to make sure you know, I miss you. I miss the way we were, the way I was, the way you were, and the way life was. Not to say anything about how my life is now, because I've been blessed here and there, but to let you know that the way we were before really put a patch on my heart. A patch that took me a while to sew. First, to pick the red thread to sew the rip shut, then the black patch over it, to hide it away and make sure it's not visible.
I just want you to know that I love you very much besides all the things that happened. We used to be close, tell each other things other wouldn't hear. We used to laugh at nothing just because it was an excuse to have fun. Now, we're not even on the same planet. I'm not sure we're even in the same universe anymnore. And the more time goes by, the farther apart we are.
But I won't put the blame on myself, no. That's not happening this time. It's your fault, or the fault of destiny, I don't know.
I just wanted you to know, as time goes by, things change, and I find myself looking at the pictures and sighing. You're not you, I'm not me, but (as uncharacteristically sentimental as this might seem) this is exactly where we are supposed to be.
So that's that. The conclusion is short: things change, people change, and you can't always get what you want and have it your way. But somewhere in that discontent, you eventually find happiness. And peace.
