I love them both.
I don't know if love is the appropriate term for the intense emotional relationship between a real life college student and a fictional character played by an actor with an absurd salary for just being attractive. It's more like admiration and deep entrancement with the men that make my heart go a-thump a-thump a-thump. It's not the muscles, the hair, the glances, or the smirks. It's the conflicted souls. It's the confusion in the eyes of the girl that knows she's in love with the better of the two (or so we all thought at one point) but still feels that pang of emotion tighten her chest when the other's smoldering gaze flares up her insides. The explosions within the mind of each of the three sort of throw me out of balance. But it's not a tripping and falling flat onto the ground face-first. It's more like a stumbling and a suave recuperation from a second of misstepping unleveled ground or letting your foot slide down, skipping
the next step in the stairs. It thrills me to know that each of them has their own mind, which is wrapped around many different pains and memories that have not been rightly settled into the grave of an immortal past. Their whiplashes between the opposite ends of the emotional spectrum leave me with a pleasantly buzzing dose of a strong fictional reality. The dark one's shift between the last episodes of season one, demonstrating love rather than lustful outlashes, and caring for the girl he's not meant to fall for. His willingness to be hurt by the lies and the manipulation of her on him unconsciously demonstrate the vulnerability of the man that once was thought to have no heart. Even though it doesn't beat anymore, it still throbs at the sight of her. As well as his brother, the other protagonist is called to dramatic action, swinging from the abstinent sobriety of a nice guy to the dark bloodthirsty passion and obsession of an innate desire.I love them both.
Like her. You might call me a hypocrite for being just like her after I've complained and judged her for being a two-faced witch. But I do truly love them both. One is the yin and the other the yang. I need them both to be complete.
I never loved you, Damon. It was always Stefan.
Those words were the ones that made me realize, uttered from both their mouths, that it's not Stefan for me. It's Damon. It has always been Damon. Just because he's the one I know is hurting. I don't know why I feel so drawn to going his way now, I have always loved the other brother. He was the hurting one, once. He was the one whose brows were furrowed constantly, that pained, brooding look permanently painted in his beautiful face. But now, the other brother has drawn me in to the frown on his sculpted lips, the tightness in his chiseled jaw. I thought the pained one was he who felt the pull from his instincts but denied them for the safety of everyone around him. Now, I know who the pained one truly is. The one that is unloved, forsaken, forgotten, forlorn. He who I once confused for the villain is now my hero.
Maybe, one day I'll understand why I always side with the lost souls.
