From a mother's perspective:
Spare me the trouble of having to sit through another one of those elaborate, novelistic lies at four in the morning. I don't want to hear the same ridiculous story spewing from your mouth almost automatically, again and again and again. Once was enough, and even then I knew it was to much of a stretch to ever be real. It's a nice gesture, it really is. I know you're trying your best, coming up with the most intricate plot lines to keep me entertained while you stand at the doorway with your coat in one hand and your red heels in the other, the look in your eyes something between alarm and ease. You think I don't smell Jack on your lips and Johnny all over your neck? As if the stuttering and the giggling between each word didn't give it all away. Kid, stop trying. I know you weren't studying with your friends. I know your cab didn't break down. I definitely know that the president of Japan didn't personally stop you on the street and ask you to go on a top secret mission with him to create technological advancements that supersede the US and Russia. I know that's not what happened. Now, if you could please be kind enough to spare me the nasty moment of anger and disappointment that always wells up inside me before you promise you're telling me the truth, we can both be on our ways to bed and figure this out tomorrow morning over some coffee or orange juice and some French toast.
Spare me the trouble of having to sit through another one of those elaborate, novelistic lies at four in the morning. I don't want to hear the same ridiculous story spewing from your mouth almost automatically, again and again and again. Once was enough, and even then I knew it was to much of a stretch to ever be real. It's a nice gesture, it really is. I know you're trying your best, coming up with the most intricate plot lines to keep me entertained while you stand at the doorway with your coat in one hand and your red heels in the other, the look in your eyes something between alarm and ease. You think I don't smell Jack on your lips and Johnny all over your neck? As if the stuttering and the giggling between each word didn't give it all away. Kid, stop trying. I know you weren't studying with your friends. I know your cab didn't break down. I definitely know that the president of Japan didn't personally stop you on the street and ask you to go on a top secret mission with him to create technological advancements that supersede the US and Russia. I know that's not what happened. Now, if you could please be kind enough to spare me the nasty moment of anger and disappointment that always wells up inside me before you promise you're telling me the truth, we can both be on our ways to bed and figure this out tomorrow morning over some coffee or orange juice and some French toast.